TEXAS
How would you describe your identities?
I consider myself to be in the soft masculine identity.
Ambiguous Beauty celebrates those who identify and express themselves through masculine and feminine energies. Please share a bit about your journey to self-discovery. Did you ever feel like you had to choose one or the other (masculine vs feminine)?
Growing up I have always felt the strain of being in a feminine energy and appearance. However, I was fortunate to have a loving mother who let me express and experiment with both feminine and masculine energies. The struggle was discovering what screamed “This is Payton”
What has been the most significant challenge you have experienced in expressing masculine and feminine traits?
With being of the softer masculine energy, people expect you to be hard and cold, rather than being in tune with your emotions and the typical “self-care” attributes. And of course, these attributes come with some people in the community not being interested in friendships or more getting rejected.
At some point in our journeys, we come to a place of self-acceptance. When did you come to understand who you are and that you were beautiful?
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a great quote I've gone by since accepting that I'm my own person and if I'm the only person who sees my beauty then so be it.
What is your experience in the workplace? Have your identities helped or hindered your career opportunities?
My career field does not have the opportunity to fully demonstrate my identity due to the specific attire I must wear.
Has being a person of color who identifies with masculine and feminine characteristics impacted how people relate and respond to you?
Being a person of color and expressing who I am definitely has its drawbacks from the comments “ trying to be a boy” to other comments that we all can probably imagine being said. But it can definitely be difficult to find individuals of our likeness to bond.
What do you want people who don’t understand you to know?
I would reiterate to people that no matter how you see me or others in the same positions, we all bleed red when skin is broken, and show love.
